Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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