oh god the rape fog is back!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
