I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
