omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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