She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
