okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
