I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
