I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
