he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
