I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
