dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
