I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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