Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
