Christians are straight up FREAKS
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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