Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i've created a new STD.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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