it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
