Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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