you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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