she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
