Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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