Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
