k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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