If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
