Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
