Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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