So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize