Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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