Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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