If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i need some magic done to my vagina
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
