i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
