She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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