I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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