yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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