Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize