i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
