Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
