She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
