whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
