So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
