I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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