Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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