I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
