if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
