What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
