I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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