Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
vagina is talking i cant
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
