I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize