You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize