No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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