I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
