maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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