It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize