he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
