I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
