Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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