can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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