I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
