Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
