Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
