between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
